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I was a patron, a resident DJ, a bartender, and spent much of my gleam at a dive bar, and discothèque called Divas (DivasSF.com), the legendary establishment formerly known as "The Motherlode" that plays host to a kaleidoscope of characters, each with their own colorful story to tell. The atmosphere within those walls was a peculiar mix of beauty and sleaze, a refuge from discrimination and a synthetic toxic chemical pit all at once. It was a place where love, life, drama, possibilities, sketch, and loss intertwined seamlessly, creating a mosaic of experiences that I still and will continue to cherish and choke on for all my days to come.
As a resident DJ, I was the maestro spinning the vinyl rhythm of the night, blending beats that resonated with the eclectic crowd. The dance floor became a vibrating sketch, painted with the vibrant hues of diverse souls seeking love, a hookup, or to escape from the harsh realities of life — this was the Tenderloin — This was DivasSF. The music united us, if only for a night tipping into morning, in a shared moment free from the challenges of one's life.
DivasSF was a sanctuary for those who didn't fit society's off-the-shelf norms. It was a place where acceptance began at the entrance, and the diverse array of patrons created a tapestry of beautiful souls free from society's accepted conventions, if only for a moment. Yet, beneath the surface of this haven, the Tenderloin's harsh realities persisted once one made exit.
In the vibrant heart of the Tenderloin in San Francisco, amidst the glowing neon lights and the raw pulse of the Golden City, there was a place called DivasSF that I made my haven, my stage, and my battleground. It was a time when I was young, full of life, hope, and energy — a time when the world seemed boundless, and the night held so many possibilities.
Behind the bar, I poured drinks for patrons who came seeking solace, a hookup, or simply a temporary reprieve from their struggles. In the dimly lit space, I met beautiful souls and lovely humans who shined twice as bright but were destined to live half as long. Their stories unfolded in snippets, outbursts, and exhibition; each interaction left an indelible impact on my soul.
Survival in the Tenderloin meant navigating through rough living, where selling oneself was often the only means of getting by. It was a world where the fortunate few managed to escape, while others were caught in a cycle of struggle, living on the fringes of society. The dichotomy between the freedom of the club and the harshness of the streets became increasingly apparent.
Over time, the dichotomy wore on me. The beauty of the souls I encountered clashed with the putrid cesspit of sleaze that lingered in the shadows. The juxtaposition became too much to bear, and the toll on my spirit grew heavy. In the end, I had to step away from the vibrant chaos, leaving behind a chapter of my life that was equal parts enchanting and exhausting.
Looking back, I remember the good times, the laughter, the music, and the connections forged in the crucible of DivasSF. It was a time of rollercoaster highs and lows, of love and loss, and of navigating a world that was as rough as it was alluring. My memories, like the echoes of the beats that once filled the dance floor, linger in the recesses of my mind, a testament to a time when I was young, full of life, and spinning on the edge of possibility.
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Andrea Santos 11/19/79 - 1104/2023
She wasn't just a face in the crowd; she was the atmosphere and center of the room. In a city where life can be as cold and foggy as the weather, she was part of the heat that kept the community warm. To be "known" at Divas meant she was a sister, a confidante, and a survivor of the Tenderloin’s toughest and most beautiful eras.
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Stephen C. Berkey
February 1, 1948 - January 5, 2020
Owner at Divas Nightclub
Steve Berkey was the longtime owner of Divas Nightclub & Bar and The Motherlode in San Francisco's Polk Gulch neighborhood.; he was kind to me. He owned both the nightclub business and the building at 1081 Post Street for over two decades before the club officially closed on March 30, 2019.
Key details regarding Steve Berkey and Divas include:
Ownership History: Berkey, originally from the Midwest with a background in construction, purchased the club around 2001 to run it with his wife.
Significance of Divas: Under Berkey's ownership, Divas became a landmark institution as the only nightclub in California specifically devoted to the transgender and gender-nonconforming community.
Closure: Berkey decided to sell the property and retire from the nightlife business in 2019. Reports at the time from the Bay Area Reporter noted he had been looking to sell the building since at least 2014, hoping to find a buyer who would preserve its legacy.
Passing: Steve Berkey passed away in San Luis Obispo on January 5, 2020, at the age of 71, less than a year after the club's closure.
Thank you Steve — may you Rest in Peace
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Monica RIP
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There’s a point where the chemicals force the shutter full open and the harsh city lights start to pierce then blend into the life itself, and you realize you're beginning to look like the environment you’re trying to find yourself in. I saw that version of myself starting to fade into the burning turbulence, and I knew if I didn't set out to anchor myself somewhere else, I might never get the chance again; I was standing on the edge of a cliff.
I know I was lucky; I had the sense to see the ledge and the and means to just pick up and leave. I chose to get out while I still could, moving toward a place where I could actually thrive again instead of just fading into a flickering burnout.
DIVAS
1081 Post Street circa 2022
RIP
As soon as I got myself away from my vices, I was on my way to living the life I deserved; or maybe didn't deserve, IDK !!
I do come back here from time to time and drop something in if someone sends it to me or i hear some news, usually nothing good almost 2 decades on.
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