Cozy and Quiet

 

This is a cozy and quiet spot!!!

Zzzzzzzzz

 

Messenger of Joy, of Love, and Light.

From my lookout at La Paloma Observatory, I gaze west, Across Colina del Sol, to where the ocean rests. In sunsets’ golden glow, I sense you near, My sister Michelle, your absence so clear.

I miss you dearly, your laughter, your light, In the hush of the evening, and the deepening night. The world feels colder, the days seem long, Without you here, where you belong.

Yet in moments of quiet, a tiny bird appears, A hummingbird, bringing whispers of what I hold dear. In many lands, this bird is a sacred sign, A bridge between worlds, the spirit's design.

Messenger of joy, of love, and light, With each fluttering wing, it lifts my plight. It dances with the sun, it drinks from the flowers, A symbol of hope in my darkest hours.

Michelle, in every sunset, in the vibrant sky, In the hummingbird’s flight, I feel you nigh. Your presence in the twilight, a comforting grace, A reminder of love that time can't erase.

I see you in the sunsets, the colors so bright, I feel you in the little birds, their joyful flight. In the silence of the evening, your spirit I trace, I love you, my sister, and I feel your embrace.

Though you are gone, you are never far, In the beauty of nature, in each twinkling star. The hummingbird's visit, a gentle reprieve, Lifts me from sadness, reminds me to believe.

Michelle, your memory, a beacon so strong, Guides me through sorrow, helps me along. In the westward gaze, across the sea, You are here, in the heart of me.

 

A Found Presence in Empty Sorrow

 

The hallways here were reminiscent of those at the hospital where Michelle had received her care, so she told. The imagined similarities struck a painful chord within me, the déjà vu of sorrow. But amidst the clinical environment, a dark hallway led me to a sculpture. It was of thoughtful form, shaped by hands that clearly understood grief. The piece stood as a silent testament to loss and resilience.

In front of this sculpture, I found an unexpected sense of calm. The hands that had created it seemed to hold my sorrow, allowing me to feel less alone in my grief. A wave of peace washed over me, mingled with sadness. I began to cry, a light smile forming on my lips as memories of Michelle's bravery filled my heart. I couldn't tell which came first, the tears or the smile.

My sister had been so brave. Her strength and spirit lingered in my mind, a constant reminder of the transient nature of life. Michelle, I miss you every day. Life moves so quickly, in the blink of an eye, it changes. As I stood there, in a place that was not so much the place she walked, but it would have felt so similar, I felt her presence. I whispered to myself, "I'll see you soon," feeling the bittersweet blend of loss and love.

Leaving the sculpture behind, I continued my search for the biorepository. The sadness was still there, but it was softer now, tinged with the calm that had washed over me. I realized that even in places I would rather not be, I could find moments of peace and connection. Michelle's memory was with me, guiding me through the cold hallways, reminding me that I was not alone.

I miss you sister!!

Lucky and a Lego Afternoon

 

One of the nicest afternoons I’ve had recently was spent with my little buddy, Lucky, an African Grey parrot. I had bought her some Legos, intrigued by the idea of her playing with something that matched her intelligence and curiosity. It seemed perfect for her, so I couldn't resist.

We set ourselves up in the living room, music playing, creating a chill atmosphere. Lucky perched beside me, watching intently as I opened the Lego box and spread out all the colorful pieces. She tilted her head, examining each part with keen interest, and I could tell she was excited for our project.

As I started assembling the Lego pieces, Lucky eagerly began to 'help' in her own way. While I connected the bricks, she busily worked to disassemble whatever she could get her beak on. It became a playful tug-of-war, me putting parts together and her expertly taking them apart. We snacked on some treats in between, Lucky enjoying her bits of fruit while I munched on some crackers.

Lucky’s enthusiasm was infectious. She was clearly happy, chattering and mimicking some of the tunes playing in the background. Her playful antics made me laugh, and her determination to be involved in every step was endearing. Despite her attempts to undo my progress, we eventually managed to get more of the structure assembled than not.

The afternoon slipped by in a delightful blend of fun and feather friend companionship. Lucky would occasionally nudge me, as if to remind me she was doing her part too. We worked side by side, and her presence made the activity even more enjoyable.

By the time we had finished—or rather, reached a point where I could declare it finished—Lucky and I were both content. She perched proudly next to our half-assembled, half-disassembled Lego creation, clearly pleased with our collaborative effort.

Spending time with Lucky on projects like this reminded me just how much of a wonderful companion she is. Her playful nature and eagerness to be involved in everything I do bring so much joy to my life. That afternoon was a perfect example of the simple pleasures that come from spending quality time with a beloved pet.

Little Lucky, you are the bestest buddy!!

"Echoes of Divas SF: Spinning and Burning on the Edge of Possibility"

In the vibrant heart of the Tenderloin in San Francisco, amidst the glowing neon lights and the raw pulse of the Golden City, there was a place called Divas SF that I made my haven, my stage, and my battleground. It was a time when I was young, full of life, hope, and energy - a time when the world seemed boundless, and the night held so many possibilities.

I was a patron, a night club DJ, a bartender, and spent much of my luster at a dive bar and discothèque called Divas (DivasSF.com), a legendary establishment formally known at "The Motherload" that played host to a kaleidoscope of characters, each with their own colorful story to tell. The atmosphere within those walls was a peculiar mix of beauty and sleaze, a refuge from discrimination and a synthetic toxic chemical pit all at once. It was a place where love, life, drama, possibilities, sketch, and loss intertwined seamlessly, creating a mosaic of experiences that I still and will continue to cherish and choke on for all my days to come.

As a resident DJ, I was the maestro spinning the vinyl rhythm of the night, blending beats that resonated with the eclectic crowd. The dance floor became a vibrating sketch, painted with the vibrant hues of diverse souls seeking escape from the harsh realities of the Tenderloin and discrimination. The music united us, if only for a fleeting moment, in a shared moment free from the challenges of life.

Behind the bar, I poured drinks for patrons who came seeking solace, a hookup, or simply a temporary reprieve from their struggles. In the dimly lit space, I met beautiful souls and lovely humans who shined twice as bright but were destined to live half as long. Their stories unfolded in snippets, outbursts, and exhibition; each interaction left an indelible impact on my soul.

Divas SF was a sanctuary for those who didn't fit societies off the shelf norms. It was a place where acceptance began at the entrance, and the diverse array of patrons created a tapestry of beautiful souls free from society's excepted conventions, if only for a moment. Yet, beneath the surface of this haven, the Tenderloin's harsh realities persisted once one made exit.

Survival in the Tenderloin meant navigating through rough living, where selling oneself was often the only means of getting by. It was a world where the fortunate few managed to escape, while others were caught in a cycle of struggle, living on the fringes of society. The dichotomy between the freedom of the club and the harshness of the streets became increasingly apparent.

Over time, the dichotomy wore on me. The beauty of the souls I encountered clashed with the putrid cesspit of sleaze that lingered in the shadows. The juxtaposition became too much to bear, and the toll on my spirit grew heavy. In the end, I had to step away from the vibrant chaos of Divas SF Club, leaving behind a chapter of my life that was equal parts enchanting and exhausting.

Looking back, I remember the good times, the laughter, the music, and the connections forged in the crucible of Divas. It was a time of highs and lows, of love and loss, and of navigating a world that was as rough as it was enchanting. The memories, like the echoes of the beats that once filled the dance floor, linger in the recesses of my mind, a testament to a time when I was young, full of life, and spinning on the edge of possibility.